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Business Bullies and chocolate

A few years ago I was on my way to a  happy productive Friday, when a big “Log” fell across my road. I couldn’t go around it. It was big, smelly and cruel…  I tried to be diplomatic as the Log complained  he believed I had violated an agreement we had.
I was surprised by the complaint.
We saw things differently.
There were wasps that swarmed out of his hollowed out heart and stung me with their bitterness.
I offered up a respectful apology for the misunderstanding and a solution.  Perhaps that made this big Log- this obstacle to my happiness – more angry with me… he wasn’t expecting quiet reasonableness.
I climbed over the Log blocking my road but the smell of it lingered all day… My feeling of worth and competence had been shattered like glass, kicked and abused to a point where I just wanted to throw in the towel- surrender.
I  had believed my inner “business” armor was thick enough to withstand such blows.  You know it’s that “only you have the power to give people power over you” – kind of thing.
How do we deal with difficult people and still keep our own positive energy-self intact?
I don’t want to be like Mr. Log in order to succeed in business…been there, done that and all it brought me was grief.   The key is to find a place away from the roadblocks where you can remain in your own integrity-knowing you did your best and move past it.  Be resilient, develop strategies for overcoming adversity.
Just because someone is a bully doesn’t mean you have to bleed from the insults and attacks no matter how intellectually  articulate their arguments have been masked (or manipulated).
Bullies make you question yourself.
This type of interaction takes place daily  in corporate America (or marriages or school or a tiny small business ).Women can be seen as easy targets, they are underestimated and are often not seen as authority figures… Why didn’t he take me seriously?
Shake it off, get some chocolate.
I was confused and surprised by the exchange and I kept replaying the conversations over and over in my head.- I knew that wasn’t productive. But nothing a good nap and some chocolate couldn’t remedy.  Chalk it up to experience and learn from it. We all have to deal with difficult people and you have to learn how to manage that difficulty without punching back.
It’s interesting to note,  Mr. Log makes his livelihood coaching, speaking and mentoring people on how to be successful!  Not sure I’m impressed by his methods.
Note to self: Practice what you preach.
Now – it’s the perfect time for chocolate. and maybe I’ll send some to Mr. Log.
Aztec and Mayan cultures have enjoyed cocoa beans since the 12th century and you should never hesitate to buy chocolate for yourself or to give as a peace offering to a business bully.  Chocolate makes everyone feel better.
A great resource for new strategies to overcome your chaos – check out  12 Rules For Life
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